Is There Any Such Thing as a "Friendly Divorce?"
Divorce is never 100% friendly. Divorce is ending a relationship that began with love and a vow of devotion. It will more likely be a "bitter-sweet" experience. That does not mean it has to be an adversarial process. Many individuals divorce without it being adversarial. After a period of adjustment and transition, some spouses end up being friends -- particularly with respect to their children.
The process of divorce has significantly changed over the years. Statistics show that mediation combined with education plays a significant role in avoiding litigation and reaching resolution of all issues early in the process. Statistics show that when spouses resolve issues of divorce through mediation they are less likely to have repeated litigation for post-divorce decree issues. Transitions for children are easier when parents are able to resolve parenting time and custody through nonadversarial processes. While the long drawn-out divorce stigma sticks in people's minds, the truth is that an adversarial divorce can be avoided in most circumstances.
Can a divorce be done without attorneys?
It is not uncommon for spouses to end their marriages without attorneys and proceed through the courts unrepresented by legal counsel. If you have legal questions regarding your divorce, certainly you should see an attorney to get those questions answered; however, you can pay the attorney by the hour without retaining an attorney to represent you in court. It is not uncommon for divorcing spouses to use mediation and a legal drafting service to finalize a divorce.
If there are children involved, seek a mediator trained in parenting coordination as well as divorce mediation. Our parenting coordinator can provide valuable advice and suggestions regarding the of sharing parenting responsibiities and addressing the challenges of raising children between two separate homes.
Divorce mediation and parenting coordination
A 12 year study reports that parents who mediated their divorce or custody dispute to conclusion in comparison to those that litigated their cases to conclusion, that the noncustodial parents remained more actively involved in their children's lives than those that litigated and they also reported less conflict between them regarding parenting coordination.
Why is this important? 18-25% of children suffer long-term effects of divorce or separation. There is a direct correlation between the statistic that in 18-20% of cases, the nonprimary custodial parent loses connection with their children inside a period of 1-3 years. While 75-85% of children do just fine, one of the determining factors of how well children adjust is the degree of parental conflict and the length of parental conflict over children and the ability of parents to ensure that children have regular and frequent contact with both parents so they are able to maintain a healthy relationship with both of their parents. Children do best when they can love and be proud of both of their parents. The exception to this is if there are abuse or safety issues that prevent normal parental relationship.
Family matters, divorce or separation for life partners, is intensely personal. No one needs their personal lives aired in a courtroom. Parties to any family litigation process are the best persons to make decisions regarding the ending of their marriage and decisions regarding their children.
Mediation and Education Is Important In Helping Parents Help Their Children Make Healthy Adjustments.
"Divorce with Dignity"
The "Divorce with Dignity" program includes the services of a professional and experienced divorce mediator and legal assistant to parties to a divorce discuss division of assets, debt, and real estate. Parenting time, custody, and other parental decisions will be made by the parties with the assistance of the mediator. Once parties to a divorce have reached full agreement, drafting of the dissolution documents will be discussed and agreed upon between the parties. Drafting services are offered in most circumstances. If there are any complicated legal issues, the parties are provided with names of attorneys that will draft their documents. In most circumstances, legal assistance services are an appropriate means to finalize documentation. However, "Divorce with Dignity" is not a substitute for legal advice for complicated issues within a divorce, such as business assets. If there are legal questions you will be asked to pose those questions to an attorney before proceeding with the program. At all times, you are in control of how to proceed with the process.
Divorce with Dignity has helped hundreds of people dissolve their marriage and make decisions regarding the needs of their children respectfully and peacefully.
The effects of a peaceful divorce on children:
Children should never be caught up in conflicts between their parents. When parents mediate rather than litigate, children's lives stabilize more quickly and children are less likely to be affected by their parents' divorce or separation. Children are more likely to see their parents on a regular and frequent basis when parents amicably resolve a relationship and work through parenting decisions together according to the needs of their children. Parents are better able to communicate regarding the needs of their children. Parents are more able to provide peaceful home environments for their children. Even more importantly, parents bring home the message to their children that even when people disagree there are peaceful solutions. Even through the pain and transition of divorce, families survive and can even thrive.
Divorce changes the family's structure; however it does not end the family. That is a life lesson worth teaching your children.
What about custody and parenting time problems for unmarried parents?
When parents fear losing relationship with their children, or are concerned they will be controlled by the other parent through their children, the battle is on! It does not have to be a battle! Custody battles are not only expensive; they are destructive. The chances of parents cooperatively working together once litigation is unlikely. Parents will be at opposite ends of the table and trust between parents is destroyed. Children are left with two adversarial parents.
Mediation is a confidential process that helps parents make decisions that impact their family life. A mediator is a trained third-party neutral experienced in court processes and issues of divorce, custody and parenting time. We specialize in helping working with parents to resolve parenting time, custody, and co-parenting challenges through mediation and education.
Family peace for the sake of children is the long-term mission of our organization.
IMPACT PARENT EDUCATION for Separated and Divorcing Parents (IPE)
To access information and to register for this program, please go to the top navigational bar and touch on "Services" and then scroll down the menu to Impact-Based Parent Education. Classes are available the first Saturday of every month, with exception of holidays from 9 a.m. - 1:00 p.m. in Hibbing, Minnesota.
Combining co-parent education and mediation produces peaceful results in the least amount of time and for the least cost!
Call us today to ask about our services.
If looking to register for the Impact Based Parent Educational program for court ordered divorce and co-parent education, please register through our website where credit cards are accepted. Use the navigation bar at the top of this screen. Also, please see our "tips" and "helpful weblinks" sections.
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