Our Mission is to provide support to families in conflict over children through education and mediation services. We are a nonprofit organization based in Hibbing, Minnesota partially funded by the United Way of Northeastern Minnesota and the Minnesota State Bar Association.  The Northland Foundation of Duluth, Minnesota has been a primary funder in the development of our programs.

Our Primary Goals: Our purpose is to assist parents raising children in separate households develop a good working relationship for the sake of their children, which include the following goals:

• Increase conflict resolution and communication skills between parents;
• Build healthy connections through regular and frequent quality contact between children and both parents; and
• Provide continuity between the two households through united parenting efforts.

The three primary goals are key in placing the best protective factors around children being raised in single parent households.  Over 1.25 million children in the United States experience the divorce of their parents each year. This statisic does not include the parents who have never married.  For the first time in the history of our nation, cohabiting parents are beginning to outnumber the traditional marriage and children pattern. 75-85% of children being raised in separate households do just fine; however, 20-25% of these children are deeply affected. 

In 18-20% of divorced or separated parents, the nonprimary parent has had little or no contact with their children inside a period of one to three years. (Notice the correlation between statistics.) There are many reasons for this happening that are not always any one parent's fault.  There may be a move so regular parenting time is difficult to provide.  It may be the result of high conflict and strained relationship.  It may be gatekeeping or alienation tactics against one parent by the other. It may also be the result of parents developing new relationships that have created blended family challenges that are causing difficulty. Whatever, the reasons, the results are the same.  Children are hurt when they are not given the opportunity to love and be loved by both parents. Children are less affected by divorce or separation of their parents when both parents remain actively involved in the lives of their children.

Tips:

• Try to lessen the changes for your children by keeping their routines in tact as much as possible, particularly with very young children.
• Try set a parenting time schedule that has no more than 3-4 days going by when your children is not seeing each parent. 
• Building parenting time in longer blocks of time rather than short periods provides better connection; such as, extended weekends from Friday through Monday morning.
• Try make parenting exchanges during natural times, such as after daycare or after school, particularly if there is tension between parents. 
• Encourage extended family relationships with people who have always been close to your children. Please don't take that away from them.  However, balancing parenting time and extended family time can be challenging.
• Preventing contact with either parent increases trauma on children of divorce. Please put yourself in the shoes of your children. Do not let your emotions affect your parenting time decisions.

Three out of five of children whose parents have separated or divorced felt rejected by one or both of their parents.  Children do not understand the dynamics of divorce. Many children wake up and find one parent gone.  Children may think it is something they did that caused a parent to leave. Children want and need a good relationship with their parents. In most circumstances, parents can work together to provide that for their children with some encouragement and assistance of a trained educator and mediator.

Please remember that children feel frightened and powerless when their parents fight, particularly when they are the subject of their battles. Children do best when parents are able to work through their differences without placing them in the middle of the battlefield.

Only 25-35% of divorced or separated parents are able to establish an effective cooperative working relationship without assistance.  Education and mediation that models good conflict resolution and communication skills are key factors in increasing cooperative coparenting skills.

In a 12 year study, parents who mediated their divorce, parenting time and custody decisions reported a better working relationship between them 12 years after the fact.  They reported higher percentages in both parents remaining actively involved in the lives of their children and reported less conflict over their children.

We have a goal of making our services available to every individual or family in need of conflict resolution services regardless of income! In order for us to do this, we are dependent upon partial public support.  Our sliding fees are based on the Federal and St. Louis County Poverty Guidelines. To build in accountability, parents are required to make a financial contribution for services according to their income level. If you want to contribute to help us serve a low income parent or family, you can do so through a direct donation or a designated donation through the United Way of Northeastern Minnesota. Please clearly designate the amount you wish us to receive.  All gifts and donations are fully tax deductible.  We thank you for your support

A parenting plan can be a valuable tool in establishing a good working relationship for the sake of children. We have over 20 years of experience in the court system, as an educator and a mediator.  We all need a little help some time and we can all help. Please call us at 218-263-7307.