Tips

The Choleric Extrovert

If you have a bossy, strong willed child, you have a child with strong choleric tendencies. A choleric temperament person is often fidgety. They are impatient, strong-willed and decisive. They are not easily discouraged.  They are tenacious and they do not give up.

The good thing about a choleric tempered person is they excel in almost any circumstance. They are born leaders. You can present them with almost any problem or challenge and rest assured that it will be taken care of. They revel in feeling needed and they appreciate affirmation of a job well done.

As a parent, they have a strong sense of right and wrong. They exert sound leadership in a family and are fiercely protective of those that they love.  They motivate children towards reaching goals and will provide needed leadership to see that those under their care succeed. They are fiercely loyal and will lay aside their own needs to ensure that those they love are cared for.

A choleric person thrives on challenge and opposition, and they can also be highly competitive. They have little tolerance for mistakes and can be mercilessly hard on themselves if they make them. A choleric temperament, while needing occasional humbling, also needs to be reminded that mistakes are not an indicator of their self-worth.  They might "grunt" when you say it to them, but they will hear you -- and they need to hear you.

They appear to have little time or need for friends. However, once you understand their temperament, they make the best loyal friends. Remember that while they are not particularly "people-persons," that does not mean they do not need other people. If you win a choleric's friendship, you have a friend indeed.

Their speech patterns are straight and to-the-point.  They are not comfortable expressing their feelings. While they will let you know in no uncertain terms what they are thinking, they will not readily allow you to see their vulnerable spots.

In a group activity they will lead, organize and collaborate towards completion of tasks.  They excel in almost any emergency. They have the ability to see the whole picture and can move straight forward to bottom line solutions. They may lack tact on getting there, however.

They can come across unemotional and harsh, and yet, a choleric temperament is oftentimes not nearly as hard as they come across to be.  Most choleric temperaments seem to be mercifully graced with a blend of melancholy.

They are often quick witted with a dry sense of humor. Their quick humor makes for interesting conversation if you can get them to relax long enough to reveal it. One word of caution: never try to outwit a choleric person unless you are a sanguine or another choleric.  If you are privileged enough to be at the table with these blends, sit back and enjoy the show.

If you are in conflict with a person of a choleric temperament, remember that they are born leaders and their nature nudges them into control positions. Remember that they are competitive, so be careful not to engage them in battle of self-will.

Set your boundaries. If you allow a choleric person to push you around, they will continue to do so. You should be prepared to be firm, straight forward and to the point. Do not engage in any outbursts of emotions thinking a choleric will respond. If you are able to stand your ground and it is done in a way that makes practical sense to them, you will gain their respect.

Give them the opportunity to lead and work with their temperament and not against it. It is wise to prepare an opening statement when confronting a choleric temperament.  Be sure that you can clearly articulate (1) what the issue is (2) what areas you want control over (4) and what you are asking of them in 30 seconds or less. Allow them to respond and then be prepared to offer a 30 second rebuttal. They will respect the challenge.

Another good way to converse over a conflictual subject with a choleric temperament is in short, ten minute conversations on one single subject at a time.  They are concrete, factual thinkers.  They are problem solvers.  Do not give them more than one problem at a time. That will frustrate them. They have a competitive nature, and rather than appear vulnerable they will respond in a sharp retort.

Choleric temperaments are one of the easiest to converse with once you understand how they process information and express themselves! You can trust a choleric temperament to be practical, level headed and accurate. While their arrogant way of thinking that they are always right can be frustrating, it is wise to think back how many times they have been proven wrong.

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